The Art of Comedy

06/25/2010

Folk operate, think, and talk in different ways. The manner that they see things depends predominately on what they go through.
It s pleasant if the event satisfies them; it is disappointing when it shocks them, based on what they encounter. This is also the same with respect to responses to gags and comedy.

A superior laugh is clearly one which talks about yourself. One can simply also verbalise precisely what other people could be musing over and in effect, the performer should take the hit for them.

Humour could be exploited to lessen embarrassment and stress. A further means to apply wit is in large part by coping with nasty circumstances. rather than being disquieted by such episodes, one can turn it into a caper.

The rule of threes or the triangular system of the caper must also be observed if performing a jape. The number three represents symmetry and completeness. So, in making a gag or humour, always attempt to involve three portions where the audience can handily pick up something new.

expert composition entertains if it focuses on humorous conversations or circumstances.
It is focused on not to do with the number of times the subscriber laughs, it is just about the way in which the message corresponds to their concern. when your objective is definitely to train, ensure that the reviewer may learn something about the new matter. Therefore, pen something compelling which should capture their interest.
Your main source of achievement lies in one’s writing and jokes being original and noteworthy.

Whenever devising funny stories in work environments, one had better bypass unfitting ones.
The biggest risk in employing wit definitely is when it is based on a incompatible issue.
It s no longer sound to make jokes relevant to sex, religious belief and race that may appall work mates.

In composing amusing subject matter, a person should take into account the chief features: the subject matter, the expectations of the reader, and the artistic context. Consider exactly what the case concerns and comprehend its purpose: is it to entertain, to teach, or to inform Take note of what the avid readers want and consider their culture.

There is continually room for humour in the work place, whether one uses it during a presentation, in individual conversations, or on the phone.
Humour can be a starting point when things are not going well or during a gruelling day.

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A PINT OF YOUR BEST “BUGBEAR” PLEASE

11/03/2009

Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.

A PINT OF YOUR BEST “BUGBEAR” PLEASE

– Toorah For Those Tittilating Tag-Names that Come With Your Favorite Grog!–

Fascinated as I am with names, I happened upon an article in our thrice-weekly newspaper devoted to tempting the tastebuds of tipplers at a local “Beerfest”.

It seems that our cozy castle (has more than a few educated swillers from nearby colleges and universities, not to mention a slew of seabees (from the naval base next door) who can’t get enough of those special suds.

In case you thought beer is just beer, think again. There’s the mass-produced malt variety (aka bottled grog) for those who need a bold “brand-name” beer to convince them they’re part of a happy herd of flatulating buffalo, frenzied sharks or frisky penguins. Then there’s the small-batch, cottage micro-brew for the young, discerning crop of brown-nosing, social-climbing iconoclasts who really don’t give a sweet tweet about the plebes. And last but not least, there are those who pride themselves in being able to show-off their penny-pinching, skinflint, tightwad habits courtesy of the local u-brew shops.

Not being a true-blue beer-belly, I must admit I haven’t the foggiest idea of what to look for in a beer other than the name. And being a rather elegant, eccentric and equable person of good breeding (and not surpisingly, easily amused), I find solace in all strong and single-minded spirits — especially the tall, dark and handsome ones.

Anything boisterous and bubbly will attract my attention as will any marvelous moniker that’s a tad titillating, saucily spunky or possibly just a dandy draught.

So, I thought I would share with you a few of my favorite hop handles (on the off chance that you too might be as delighted as I was to see them). Besides “Moosehead” (for the merry munchkin in all of us) , there are oodles of other laugh-out-loud tag-names to enjoy such as:

– Back Hand of God (Crannog Ales)
– Black Widow Dark Ale (Tin Whistle Brewing Co.)
– Bull Frog
– Bureaucracy Bitter (Gulf Islands Brewing Co.)
– Buzzard’s Breath (Big Rock Beer)
– Cold Cock Winter Porter (Big Rock Beer)
– Fat Head I.P.A. (Fat Cat Brewery)
– Hophead India Pale Ale (Tree Brewing Co.)
– Jack Rabbit Low Carb Beer (Big Rock Beer)
– Killer Bee Dark Honey Ale (Tin Whistle Brewing Co.)
– Lemp
– Moose Drool (Montana Big Sky Brewing Co.)
– Mule
– Old Stumplifter (Tree Brewing Co.)
– Paddywhack IPA (Nelson Brewing Co.)
– Pig’s Eye
– Pompous Pompadour Porter (Fat Cat Brewery)
– Rattlesanke ESB Ale (Tin Whistle Brewing Co.)
– Red Devil Ale (R&B Brewing Co.)
– Red Ass Ale
– Snuffy Smith
– Warthog Cream Ale (Big Rock Beer)
– Yellow Belly

For those of you who like something a touch more radical or ribald, why not try these on for size (courtesy of the “Strange Brew Random Beer Name Generator”):

Flying Squirrel-Pinto Stout
Frisky Ardvaark Gueuze
Dirty Deer Doppleback
Grunting Jellyfish Pale Ale
Moose-Monk Extra Special Bitter
Sloshed Wombat Stout
Sub-Atomic Wit Brown Ale
Succulent Groundhog Day Golden Altbier

And as every “victualer” knows, you will certainly need a nifty name for your tacky tavern besides, “Stickey Wicket Pub”, “Waddling Dog” or “Toad-in-the-Hole” (which are already taken). So if you’re leisure-challenged like I am, you might want to have a wee peek at the “Random Tavern Name Generator”. You might not like the “Tippling Twitmeister Taproom” but perhaps one of the following gems might strike your fancy:

Berserk Knave Hall
Cheerful Hippogriff Pub
Fiery Grog Cellar
Giggling Gryphon Guesthouse
Toothless Taproom
Twin Heretic Tavern

So, as they say in sci-fi movies, “May the Force Be With You”, as you drive home tonight with the help of a trusty taxi coupon or a designated driving dude/damsel.

__________

The sub-atomic pale-alers among us may want to visit the “Strange Brew” website for more than 27,703,620 possible new brew names to print on those ultra-cheap “u-brew self-adhesive labels”, http://www.strangebrew.ca/beername.php.

And do drop by one of my favorite hop spots on the Net — The Big Rock Beer folks in Calagary, Alberta at http://www.bigrockbeer.com

For those of you who want to check out the 59,980 possible pub names – please consult the “Random Tavern Name Generator”, at : http://www.paper-dragon.com/fantasyland/tavernnamegen.html

Should any of you wish to pay an impromptu visit to the fair city of Victoria, BC (Canada), why not book ahead and go to the “Great Canadian Beer Festival” held each year in early September http://www.gcbf.com

About the Author

If you enjoy musing about the little loopy things that go on in life, the universe and everything in between…drop by and take a peek at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com.

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Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

09/25/2008

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There’s just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. My family has usually always had at least one cat among us as far back as I can remember. As with people there are just some animals that seem to have that special something. Harry was one of them. I fell in love with him almost immediately. The bond between us grew and Harry became my cherished friend and companion as well as a valued member of our family.

Harry’s magnetic personality and charismatic manner almost always allowed him to get his way. But on those rare occasions when he was treated unjustly, his vengeance was anything but sweet.

My husband, Scott stood in the doorway looking out at the yard. The grass was quickly shooting up again from the recent rain. The day was sunny but the weather report called for rain the rest of the week.

“I think I’ll go cut the grass,” he said.

“I’ll do it for you, Dad,” volunteered Travis, our youngest son.

“It’s supposed to rain. I want to get it cut before it gets any higher.”

“Just let me finish eating my sandwich,” Travis said.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Scott asked his son.

“No. I’ll do it.”

Travis gulped down the rest of his sandwich and washed it away with the last bit of pop in the glass. He got up from the table, picked up his plate and glass and placed them in the sink.

“Let me go change clothes first,” he told his father.

Travis went upstairs and was back down in a flash. He took the keys from the counter, went outside, unlocked the shed and removed the lawn mower. A few moments later I could smell the sweet scent of fresh cut grass. I loved the smell of grass even though I suffered from most common allergies at that time of year.

Scott and I sat at the kitchen table, engaged in casual conversation when Travis reappeared in the doorway a short while later. His face was a bit flushed and his back had taken on a little more of a golden bronze hue. Little slivers of grass decorated his shoes, socks and lower legs.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he said.

“Thanks for taking care of the yard, Trav.”

“No problem, Dad.”

When Scott rose to refill his glass with Pepsi he noticed Harry sitting in front of the bathroom door.

“He must need in to use the litterbox,” I said.

Scott knocked on the bathroom door.

“Trav, Harry needs in to use the litterbox.”

Travis did not reply. Assuming that he could not hear over the sound of the running water, Scott knocked a little harder. The water immediately turned off.

“What?!”

“Harry needs in to use the litterbox,” Scott said.

“So,” came the reply.

“Well, let him in.”

“No. He can wait.”

“If he goes to the bathroom on the floor you’re cleaning it,” his father warned.

Only silence came from the other side of the door. Then the rush of the water could be heard again. Harry continued to sit patiently in front of the door waiting to gain entrance. A few minutes later, after finally deciding that the door was not going to open, he gave up.

Travis had changed shoes before he went out to cut the grass. When he came back in, he removed his shoes and left both pair by the door. Harry walked over, sniffed the shoes and squatted. Although I made an attempt to stop him, it was too late. Harry had already urinated on both pair of Travis’s shoes. Normally Scott would have been furious but this time he roared with laughter. Grasping his abdomen, he howled until his face was flushed and tears ran down his cheeks. Although I tried not to laugh, a few giggles managed to escape.

On hearing all the commotion, the bathroom door flew open. A still dripping, towel clad Travis appeared in the doorway.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You wouldn’t let Harry in the bathroom so he used your shoes instead of the litterbox. Both pairs!” Scott pointed, as he tried to contain his laughter.

“What?! He didn’t,” Travis exclaimed as his jaw clenched in anger and his face reddened with embarrassment.

“He did,” laughed my husband.

“Dad, it’s not funny.”

“Oh yes it is.”

I nudged my husband to shut up. Scott was enjoying the moment just a little too much. Trav didn’t have much of a sense of humor and even less when the joke was on him.

“Harry! Come here. You little…Wait till I get you,” Trav muttered as Harry ran around the table.

“Leave him alone. It’s nobody’s fault but your own. You’re the one who wouldn’t open the door,” his father pointed out. It seemed odd to hear Scott defend a cat but Harry had made a lasting impression on everyone including my husband.

He certainly made an impression on Travis that day. Finally eluded by Harry, Travis stomped back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Harry was the baby and he knew it. He flopped down on the throw rug in front of the door and groomed himself contentedly. He had proved his point and he was satisfied with the results. It didn’t pay to piss Harry off. (Pardon the pun but I couldn’t resist.)

Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of “Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems” and “The Choosing.” Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at darzagata@yahoo.com

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BV Chronicles – Part I

09/22/2008

Back in ancient times, oh say about 10 BV (Before Video games,) when a kid had nothing to do on a summer day, things got pretty difficult. Unlike today, when a kid can veg out for extended periods racking up points on any number of video game titles, children with nothing to do had a real dilemma on their hands. They could either go home and get caught up in some kind of chore their parents would press them into performing, or accept the challenge of grabbing boredom by the nose and kicking it in the butt.

In case there is ever a serious power shortage, here is one boredom breaker the 8-12 year old kids in my old neighborhood used to pull for something different to do.

One day, we grabbed an official looking hard hat, a heavy whistle, a plastic badge, and a wide leather belt. Hooking the belt from shoulder to waist on a slant across the chest, donning the hard hat, pinning on the badge, and taking the whistle, we moved to the nearest low traffic intersection to begin experimenting with how well a kid could do at directing traffic. Whenever a car came along to the stop sign, we would walk out into the intersection, blow the whistle, and point authoritatively in the direction we wanted the driver to go. To our surprise, almost every driver went in the direction we indicated without question, which was intentionally opposite the one we thought they wanted to go.

On one occasion, the driver lowered his window and asked why he could not go the way he wanted to take. My brother was manning the post for this incident, and he was not usually acknowledged for being quick on the uptake. However, when the driver asked why he had to turn, my brother shouted back impatiently, “Oil!” With a flourish of bravado, my brother blew the whistle in two quick bursts, and in a squatting turn, swept both his extended arms in the direction he wanted the driver to take. The driver shrugged his shoulders, and turned the car as instructed. It was our best shot of the day.

I may not be able to recall my best score at Mario years from now, but I can still remember directing traffic for the first time. Sometimes it is good to be forced to invent.

Director of Software Concepts
BHO Technologists – LittleTek Center http://home.earthlink.net/~jdir.

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The Way It Used to Be

Down here in Dothan, Alabama we have a city park that’s been setup to give folks a feeling for how country life used-to-be. I guess these parks are probably springing up all over the country, I’ll bet in New York they have a park that teaches you what it’s like to get mugged, or to explain to a foreign cab driver where you’d like to go. Our park is a working farm, and also has a real old-fashioned soda fountain. I have no idea what one has to do with the other.

There was a story on the Dothan news about school kids being offered an opportunity (forced) to go to the park and see how the south “used-to-be”. These kids had to pick cotton, churn butter and milk a cow. After all this “fun” they were treated to a hayride in a rickety wagon pulled by a tractor. That’ll keep these kids off the streetshow could they stand all the fun? One of the park volunteers stated this will be the only time most of these kids will see the real south, most of them have no idea about how the south used-to-be.

It always amazes me when adults decide what kids should be thinking. Even though I’ve been alive since Jesus was a boy I know most of these kids didn’t leave the park with a greater appreciation for the south. If they are like me, they left with a greater appreciation for how things are today.

This plan to force kids to relive the experiences of the south is not new. When I was a kid I can recall riding with my mom in the country, as she parked the car on the side of the road by a cotton field. She insisted I pick cotton in the hot sun so I’d have an appreciation for how life used-to-be. Well, I got out of the car and I picked cotton, all the time wondering what I had done to be punished.

Once the hour was over and I was finally allowed back in the cool car, she regaled stories of how southerners used to earn their livings in the cotton fields and kids worked all summer in the fields to help the families.

I could tell by the look on her face that I was suppose to be intrigued by this lost southern heritage and have a newfound appreciation for things of old. All I had was an appreciation for air-conditioning.

Now that I think about it, allowing kids to have gratitude and appreciation for life today is not such a bad thing. This is probably a lesson we all need to learn. So, having kids spend a day at the park is probably a good idea, even if the outcome is different from what we expect.

I guess the next time I start yearning for a simpler time, I’ll just go out and pick a little cotton; life is bound to look a whole lot better afterwards.

Ya’ll come!

David Holmes - EzineArticles Expert Author

David Zack Holmes is an Inspirational/Humor Writer telling his tales with a southern flair. To read more features see: http://www.davidzackholmes.com

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Let Me Drive You Home From the Gas Station

09/18/2008

People never seem to amaze me. And by that I mean that people amaze me once in a while, and the rest of the time I try to remain unimpressed — and usually succeed. Take this evening, for example: after getting gas in my car — and keep in mind that I live in NJ, where we are not allowed to pump our own because people don’t trust us enough — the station attendant asked me where I was going. Not knowing where this question was headed, since people usually ask him for directions and not the other way around, I basically pointed in some random direction…

That was my first mistake. The random directional point never works. I don’t have any information to back this up, but that is only because I refuse to ask the Internet until it gives me my Frisbee back…

So, after this random point, the attendant then asked me if I could drive his friend home. This was a tempting offer. I mean, think about it: me, some random guy, could drive home this other random guy who may or may not hijack my car at some point down the road and kill me. How could I refuse this offer? And especially for what he was offering me: “I’ll give you a soda,” he said…

I thought the soda offer was tempting because that’d be something I would enjoy while I was dead. While he was at it, he could have thrown in some other necessities for beneath the grave like caterpillars or sympathy cards. A weeping widow would have really done the trick…

Keep in mind that I don’t keep my car very clean on the inside. Of course, I do clean it out once every four months or so, but otherwise I have a lot of random items in my car, which is probably why I usually resort to the random pointing. But it is situations like these that make me want to endorse unkempt cars on television. Such a car provides the perfect excuse to never have to drive anyone anywhere…

“I would drive him, but my car is a mess,” I told the guy…

I tried my hardest to give him a facial expression which indicated a combination of disappointment and concern. If awards were given out for making fake facial expressions at gas stations (I will have to check), surely I would have received a nomination…

“What if you move all of your stuff into the back seat?” he asked me. Or at least it sounded like that, but I wasn’t completely paying attention, being I was sidetracked by that soda offer and all. Did he not notice my facial expression? What did he want from me –tears? Who did he think I was — Walker, Texas Ranger?

I then told him that I couldn’t move my stuff back there because it would break. Luckily he didn’t question how poster board, an old McDonald’s bag and a bunch of pencils would suffer those consequences if moved, because then I’d have to resort to the random pointing again — and then throw something at his face once he looked in that direction…

So indeed, people never seem to amaze me. And that’s good, because I love the feeling that at any time and any place, someone I don’t know will ask me for a ride. And only in NJ can I say “no” because the opposite is never expected of me…

But I digress.

Greg Gagliardi - EzineArticles Expert Author

Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, “Progressive Revelations,” has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.ProgressiveRevelations.com)

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